One thing I tell myself and hear others tell me is to stay strong. Some days I feel like I can move mountains and some days I feel like I am buried underneath the mountain with no hope of seeing light again. Strength isn’t necessarily measured with how much you can lift, it can be measured with how far you can go, how strong willed you are, or even your days when you aren’t able to go far or be as strong willed. For me, I try to stay strong for everyone, including myself. I try to stay strong for my family, for my friends, for my other spoonies. But my secret? I’m not strong all the time. I am strong, but I am also very exhausted. I am permanently this way as a result of trying to stay strong all the time. I continue to be “strong” daily. I am stubborn. I am strong. I am a warrior, damnit. No one will tell me different. As a spoonie, I face things on a daily basis that normal people cannot understand and if they were to experience it, they would react totally different. It’s nothing against the “normal” people. It’s just an example of how strong we spoonies are. We don’t get much of a choice. We have to fight a losing battle on a daily basis. Some days we are able to keep the battle at a standstill by taking our medications, feeding our bodies if they are willing, or doing other things to keep everything still. When things are still, that’s the good thing. It means we are on a good/decent day, or a not so bad day. When things start to move with the battle, that’s when all hell breaks loose and we are in fight mode. We do everything we usually do but have to take more medications to try and get the battle at an impasse again. Sometimes the battle rages on for days, Weeks, months, without seeing the end of it in sight. Then one day after we have continued to be strong and continued to be warriors, we see that light that eventually shines back down to us that lets us know that we’ve fought our hardest and that we may have some relief now. Seeing that light shine down is a major relief in itself. It represents a glimmer of hope and a prayer that we may not have another battle for at least a little while. So in the meantime between battles, continue to be strong. Continue to be a warrior. Continue to be brave. Continue to fight your battles. You can do this.
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